mysunjoy.com

Taken at our favorite local restaurant, Sushi Hana.

She’s been doing this same ritual of fish feeding in this same restaurant since she was a toddler, and it never loses its appeal

Dinner time tomfoolery and shenanigans are always on the menu

Time to walk off that tempura!

Back when her dad and I were still together, we used to go here for family dinners regularly, too. It’s something I’m glad we’ve carried on the tradition (or habit?) of as our family life has shifted and changed. And sure, our family configuration might be arranged in substantively different ways and look different on the outside, but there’s just as much – if not more – joy and fun as there ever was on the inside.

Family isn’t biology. Family is love.

There’s something happening, not sure why but there’s a definite ‘something’ in the air. Could it be connected to a slight chink in our economic model of runaway consumption and fewer opportunities to ‘spend money we don’t have on stuff we can’t afford to impress people we don’t know’. Whilst the situation of slowing consumer demand is a politician’s nightmare, it can be an opportunity for some of us to stand back and take a breath and maybe reflect. Are we on a treadmill of external forces or are we taking charge of the way we’re living and the resources we’re consuming?

Just as important is ‘where is the joy’ in our lives once we reduce the quick-buzz of buying stuff, or going to work in order to get more dosh to consume yet more stuff? Being able to access feelings of joy and fun in our private lives is fairly taken for granted, but I’m having more and more conversations with people wanting to experience those feelings at work or in their business. Maybe long hours, trying to manage constant change, disappointment and stress in colleagues, and yet still to keep going and urge better performance in others, is taking its toll.

the treadmill gets a bit much sometimes

It’s difficult sometimes to retain a sense of perspective and importantly, a sense of self, of who you really are underneath all that ‘stuff of living’. Many of you are required to be pass-masters of organisational change and transition and yet struggle to stay grounded and not be swept away by feelings of negativity and helplessness. And believe me, even what I would call highly successful people are not always feeling the satisfaction they are entitled feel, and sometimes ask “what’s all the hard work for?”.

I don’t think the answer is complicated. We just don’t allow ourselves enough ‘down-time’ where we not only stop buying, consuming and doing stuff, but we also stop thinking stuff. At the heart of all of us is an innate human ability to feel peace and contentment but it’s mostly drowned out by the busy-ness of life and work pressures.

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Being fulfilled leads to its own contentment and joy, and self-knowledge helps guide you in making the right choices in life, business or your career. So I ask the question, how well do you know yourself?

Have a look at the diagram below and see how much information you could fill in for “The Map of Who You Are”:

how connected are you, to YOU?

So after looking at the diagram, could you answer the following questions:

1. Have you a relatively full picture of what makes you tick? Remember that your psychometric profile remains pretty much unchanged throughout your life, but your motivational map will change with circumstances and so might the maps of the people you work with. Do you understand yours and theirs, and where might there be room to build empathy and understanding instead of conflict and stress? There’s a thought!
2. Do you have an understanding of what keeps you grounded if anything? It’s great to rely on family and friends but sometimes that’s not enough and what you might find useful is to build the ‘core-of-who-you-are-and-what-you-believe-in-and-what-you-bring-to-the-world’, and hold that core inside of yourself. It’s also sometimes essential for folks, even in senior roles, to have their own ‘safe-selfish-space’ – maybe a professional coach or mentor – where they can outwardly express and deal with their own private anxieties. Sometimes partners and spouses don’t want to know!
3. Do you have a bit of structure in your head to keep you going? Finding time to reflect and focus on what you are already good at doesn’t imply complacency but rather an opportunity to give thanks for your achievements to date and to be positive about yourself. It also helps to look forward to new learning opportunities based on what you feel you want to achieve in the world (linking back to your values, ethics and beliefs, and of course, your motivational map). Most of all do you allow yourself to connect with your Soul’s Intelligence by relaxing and emptying your mind of immediate demands, even if only for 5 minutes every day. You’d be surprised at the difference it will make.

Joy is a smile away!

And finally, here’s a quick route for experiencing some easy joy from the lovely Barbara Glanz (honestly, it’s easy but it might take time to get used to it):

• Search for the special gift each person brings to your workplace.

• Thank people every chance you get.

• Focus on what is going right.

• Be contagiously enthusiastic about the importance of your work.

• Even if you are not happy in your job, you can still find glimpses of joy.

You can read Barbara’s full article here.

Remember, give thanks at the end of every day and ponder this, what you give out you get back in bucket loads in many and mysterious ways!

EnJOY!